For all the talk about the so-called "Obesity Epidemic," some of us so cursed with that condition have a hell of a time trying to buy pants. I am not a glutton, nor do I spend endless hours in front of the tube stuffing my face with snacks. I just don't exercise very much, and have been trying to keep my type-one diabetes in some sort of control for the past 29 years. (Taking insulin puts on the weight even as it metabolizes blood sugar.) Those factors, and my enjoyment (not OVER-enjoyment) of cheese and Pilsener have led to substantial personal growth in the past eight years or so. Thus, being one of a multitude of fat men in the country, why do I find it impossible to locate trousers at, say, Wal*Mart? Why does no major retailer in this country cater to us in the throes of this "epidemic?" Sure, there are catalog sales, but a FAT lot of good that does one in searching for immediate coverage. The bizarre thing is, most of these stores carry shirts in sizes up to 4X--just nothing to go with them. Perhaps the rationale is that with a nice, big, billowy sport shirt, you really don't NEED pants. (I am not as yet willing to test this theory out on an unsuspecting public.) Larger women are not so afflicted--"Catherine's" is there in every strip mall to save the day. Why is there no "Catherine's" for men? I would gladly patronize a "Fat-Ass City" if such existed. The one real fat store in my community has erratic business hours and is a mite too expensive. And this is Utica, N.Y.--we're, by-and-large, a city of large people. My wife and I went shopping tonight and it was, for me, a soul-crushing experience. It cannot be helpful that such frustration drives me to solace myself with the afore-mentioned cheese and Pilsener, my twin Nemeses. (Cheers.)