"You'll find you're so incredibly moronic
You'll wish you'd kept your love affair platonic."

--Andy Senior (1962- ), "Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded"


One of the great mixed blessings of married life is that, having left the savage blender of singleness, one is often called upon to act as a consultant in the affairs of others. Last Saturday evening Susan and I were pressed into the capacity of tag-team relationship counselors by my best friend and his former long term girlfriend, both suffering in their new relationships. These two are still deeply involved in each other's lives and see more of each other than many actual married couples. Sue has been trying to get them back together--as if they'd ever really been apart. My friend is still trailing after this young artist chick, practically begging to get his heart stomped on. His ex, who left him because he was marriage-phobic and reluctant to evince signs of adulthood, is now living with a sweet-natured young man who seems to have tried every medication in the Physicians' Desk Reference (as well as those not officially sanctioned).

Ah, young love. Ah, phooey.

Here's another romantic snippet from one of my old songs:

"I want a Brain Enema--
A minty Brain Enema;
Oh, please rinse my love away--
Let me think again TODAY!"